The Business of Friendship

So my wife gets approached by a lady at work who is a Sales Consultant for Mary Kay cosmetics. The lady asked her to attend a meeting to hear about the opportunity and see what she thought. I really thought nothing of the whole thing. I did not think my wife would have any interest but if anything, it sparks interesting conversation. So she went and it apparently really struck her as something that could really be a good opportunity. I have to admit, my very first thought was, "It's a scam and let's not get involved with this." But as she was on the phone talking to this Consultant, I thought about it. I remembered that not all that long ago I myself had tried my hand at an in-home business no other than the infamous Amway. And I can remember how much of a struggle it was for me to finally get involved after about a year or more of arguing it's legitimacy with my friend who had been working with it that whole time. And I also remember a lot of or should I say lack of support from my family. No, they weren't huge critics that were trying to make me feel bad every time I saw them, but it's the little encouragement that might seem meaningless that would have really meant a lot. Because of this and some of the conflicts that arose from it, I deemed it not to be worthy and I quit. I felt pretty weak too because I'd actually let others really influence me when it came to my own success and failure. So after getting back in that mindset, I quickly told my wife to go ahead and give it a shot if she felt it was something that would work and that she'd be good at. And so she did.

So it's been a little over 6 months now since she first signed up. So what do I think? Well, I think it's been great for her. In fact, I'm really impressed. Who knew that the girl that has never had a sales job a day in her life could actually sell and perhaps sell better than me? And sales is all I've ever done. She's also very dedicated. In fact, she hasn't missed a weekly group meeting the entire time. I can't even seem to remember to watch my favorite TV show every week. And is she selling? Well yeah, she is. Now it hasn't been a huge in flux of cash, but she's been pretty steadily making sales and moving inventory. She also seems to be working very hard at getting people to take a look at the opportunity itself, which is something I always struggled with regarding Amway.

So is my wife's new found sales skills what I'm writing about today. No, it's not. But my real urk about this whole experience with Mary Kay has been the people that we know. Not only has it been an urk, but it's also been an amazement. What I mean by that is that the strangest people that you would never think of give you the greatest support. And the ones you thought you felt the closest to end up being the biggest disappointment.

What's the reason for this? It would be hard to say. But I suppose I can think of when I was back in Amway. Regardless of whether anyone wanted to be in Amway for the business side of it, Amway still had a pretty killer variety of products that were priced pretty good too. Mary Kay even more so. I've come to learn that they offer very highline stuff that actually seems to work. And it's priced affordably for most people compared to the other products it competes with. So regardless of whether somebody wants to go into the business of selling Mary Kay or not, there's no reason why everyone can't benefit from using the products. But it's so interesting to see how people won't even agree to a free facial to even see if the products will work for them. And this has been the frustration. Most of these friends you feel closest to seem to balk at that very idea of it. They say they already use a brand they like. But why not try this brand? After all, you tried the brand you are using now at some point and you liked it. And what if you ended up liking the Mary Kay product the same or even more? And what if it cost you the same or maybe less? Then wouldn't you rather your close friend profit from the sale of this product rather than some department store who doesn't care a lick about you? Read that last sentence again because that is the real rub here. This encapsulates the whole thing. At least I believe it does. In fact, let's type it out one more time and take a look at it again...

"Then wouldn't you rather your close friend profit from the sale of this product rather than some department store who doesn't care a lick about you?"

I really think it comes down to jealousy. Call it cliche, but I'm going to say it. Deep down, people don't want you to succeed if they haven't themselves succeeded more than you. By purchasing that Mary Kay facial scrub they feel they are in effect saying, "You knew more about this and you took the time to look into this before me and that makes you smarter than me." Now obviously people aren't verbally or even mentally saying this in their head, but what else can it possibly be? Because if it's not this, then what is it? Ponder that and chew on it for a while. And it interests me because friends of mine and my wife come to us for advice on things and they value our opinion and our knowledge when they ask for it. But turn it around and try to share with them something they didn't ask for and you are greeted with unwant and disrespect. Why is my advice meaningful when it is asked for, but meaningless when given freely. That's another one we need to highlight...

"Why is my advice meaningful when it is asked for, but meaningless when given freely."

But on the flip side, I talked of amazement. Some of the strangest people that I actually advised my wife against approaching have ended up being her biggest supporters and customers. Go figure. But this is certainly not the majority and the two groups definitely are not equal in numbers. It's much more the negative and that's why they call this "work". But I have noticed that my wife is very strong. This is something I have really grown to love in her. And I'm pretty sure when this whole things over and done, she's gonna be the last one laughing.

cliche implied :)